I’ve got a big birthday coming up soon, and this lighthearted and uplifting piece on Susanne Fletcher’s Wuthering Bites blog caught my eye and made me smile. It’s a powerful piece with great advice to make our senior years happier. ~ Antonia
- Buy a coffin.
- Put the coffin in your living room.
- Fill the coffin with clothes that don’t fit, books you’ll never read, lists of people you don’t talk to anymore, every regret you’ve ever had, all your lost dreams. Add a picture of you at 28.
- Stop plucking the hairs on your chin. For fun, see how long they’ll grow.
- Stop gluing down the three hairs on your left eyebrow that poke out like past sins.
- Burn your 36 DD bras. Fly free.
- Stop buying self-help books. If you own any, add them to the coffin.
- Do 10 squats a day so you can get up and down off the toilet when you’re 70.
- Eat bread and pasta and potatoes and white sugar and milk chocolate if you want.
- Walk outside, not on a treadmill. The treadmill is a symbol. So is being outside.
- Give your better angels a voice and tell the bitter bitches who talk over everyone to f**k off. Better yet, throw the bitches in the coffin.
- Obsess about now.
- Practice listening to your dog, your cat, your budgie, your goldfish and then go listen to your best friend.
- Talk to people the way you talk to your pet. Chances are if you say “Who’s a good friend?” they’ll beam with pleasure.
- Look up at the sky and not your feet. The view is better.
- Practice what you preach.
You can reach Susanne Fletcher at
firstname.lastname@example.org and at her website: