Feelings vs. Emotions

Which comes first: the emotion or the feeling? Does it matter? 

I think I have a tiny bit more control over one as compared to the other. And, for that reason it’s worth looking at the distinction between the two.

Why I care

It matters to me when my eyes pop open in the early morning hours and I’m hit with feelings or emotions – we’ll decide in a minute – filling me with dread: How many days until the election? Will I be able to deal with these emotions/feelings so I can head into the day unencumbered? Will there be enough ‘pit stops’ on that upcoming bus trip? Can I afford new hearing aids? Have I proofed the latest blog post thoroughly?

Although most mornings these concerns don’t burst forward, when they do, I want to deal with them.

Feelings vs Emotions

Before examining some coping mechanisms, let’s look at the definition of these two things and see which one we probably have more control over.

First, my online look-see says there are only subtle differences between the two. The research goes on to state emotions are usually considered automatic, physiological responses to stimuli that bring about increased heart rate and sometimes sweating.

Feelings, on the other hand, are the conscious awareness and interpretations of those emotions that involve a more cognitive process rather than just an automatic physiological response. In other words, how we respond to the emotions.

So, looks like in most cases, it’s the emotion that comes first and then the feelings.

Coping

To me, a big part of aging is staying connected with the feelings that come from our emotions but, at the same time, getting out of our head when being there makes it difficult to proceed forward.

So how do we manage that balance? How do we acknowledge our emotions, stay in touch with our feelings but not overthink everything. Overthinking can swiftly keep me from proceeding at all. I get stuck easily!

Here are some suggestions for ways to stay present and acknowledge your emotions without overthinking, which creates distractions and anxiety:

~Body scanning (I call it ‘checking in’) – From a comfortable position focus your attention on your toes and, moving slowly, shift your attention to each body part, all the way to the top of your head. Take your time and relax.

~Grounding – You can stay present by focusing on your breath, as in meditation, holding a comforting object, or noticing the details of your surroundings.

~Practice acceptance – When a difficult emotion and any resulting feelings arise, try saying to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.” This is easy to do anytime and anywhere. This affirmation can reduce the urge to overanalyze.

~Limit “why” questions – Asking yourself why you’re feeling a certain way only perpetuates the cycle of endless thinking and overanalyzing. Perhaps swap out that question with one that keeps you in the now: “What am I feeling right now?”

~Physical movement – Most times just engaging in physical activity can jar your mind and break the loop of overthinking. Go for a walk, do stretches, a few minutes of yoga, or watch a funny video.

As always, routine meditation and journaling help us identify our emotions and acknowledge our feelings.

It feels good to see that I might have more control over my feelings than I thought possible and that I don’t have to deny my emotions. It looks like the next time I wake early gripped with my emotions and subsequent feelings, I’m going to work on engaging my senses and practicing some grounding techniques to help me cope. If you share my hypervigilance, would you try one of these techniques?