It’s simple and straightforward and bears worth reminding ourselves that it’s easy to let go of things beyond our control so we can live our lives without as much angst or complication.
A complimentary idea that goes along with letting go is a theory dubbed originally by Mel Robbins, the motivational speaker of years ago, called the Let Them Theory. As it sounds, when you feel yourself trying to control a person, a specific outcome or situation, just say to yourself instead “Let them.” Let them go ahead and do whatever it is they’re doing.
As I’ve gotten older, sometimes I let the vision of myself as a wise and sage-y person, with a penchant to ‘just help others,’ overshadow the truer nature of what that attempt to control does to me and the other person. I need to ask more often, “Who does that really help?” The answer is often not what I intended.
Benefits
Embracing the Let Them Theory can benefit you in the following ways:
~Doing so will most definitely reduce stress and anxiety. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel my age and the wisdom I’ve garnered along the way entitle me to give advice, intervene, or try to steer a certain outcome. Expending this kind of other-focused energy most certainly creates stress and anxiety I wouldn’t experience otherwise.
~Letting go of trying to control others improves our relationships with them. It’s our role as elders to let people be who they are and (to the best of our ability) be loving toward them in the process. As you well know, being accepted by others is a feeling we all cherish, and it deepens our connection to and respect for them.
~More time and energy for other things. When we let them be them, we free up time and mental energy for what truly matters to us. Embracing the Let Them Theory allows us to prioritize our own business and well-being.
~Greater inner peace is a marvelous by-product of the Let Them Theory. Letting go of the need to control others can lead to a profound sense of inner peace. You no longer carry the burden of trying to fix or manage other people’s lives. Instead, you can focus on cultivating your own place in the world and living a life that brings you joy and satisfaction.
How to Let Them
You can practice the Let Them Theory by 1) being aware of when you’re trying to control or change others, 2) accepting people for who they are and what they do as separate from you, and finally 3) once you’re aware and accepting, you can redirect that energy to your own life.
The Let Them Theory is a powerful tool for seniors seeking to enhance their lives.
By letting go of the need to control others, you can reduce stress, improve relationships, and focus on what truly matters to you. As you embrace this philosophy, you’ll likely find greater peace, joy, and fulfillment in your golden years. So, the next time you feel tempted to intervene in someone else’s life, take a deep breath, and simply let them.
Most timely for “the times” and for me personally, Antonia! We need to be careful that the “Let Them” attitude is not one of uncaring or not wanting to deal with an unhappy situation, (ie. “well Haitii’s always been a mess so what can you do?”). It’s easier to think of an election, no matter how important it seems to you, as really being out of your control and at one point you just have to give in to the power play at the moment unless you’re a Serial Denier. But on a personal level, this is the hardest thing for me! I’m coming up on a time when the responsibility for my handicapped sister is going to be turned over to new people. After a lifetime of protecting her and protecting others from her, I now need to uncouple and let her and her new caretakers figure it out. It’s not going to be easy but something inside me knows that it’s the best thing for all of us. So, I”ll keep “Let Them” in mind, as well as the lovely Beatles’ tune “Let it Be.” Let go and Let up!
Christine, I’m SO glad you brought up a wider view of the Let Them Theory, as I was almost exclusively thinking of it on a personal level. As you say, a laissez faire attitude about important world events/situations is not appropriate nor what I intended in this piece. Also, I appreciate how difficult it must be shifting your sister’s care responsibilities to others who are trained and can treat her well, thus allowing for an expansion of your breathing room … finally. You have done so much.