…how I turned a pity party into a blog post.
As a Baby Boomer, I haven’t been prepared for the political and social events of the past ten years or for the fallout of things turning out so polar opposite of what I expected or planned for.
I’m positive I’m not alone in waking up most mornings thinking, “What the heck happened? Where did the old age I worked so hard for go? What do I do now to pivot successfully enough to keep aging gratefully? Should I have seen this age of angst coming?”
Then
I was born in the late 1940’s from parents who worked hard to provide for their daughters by offering stability, culture, lots of “things,” and gobs of educational opportunities. I grew up in a socio-economic and political climate that was based on optimism, cooperation, and a deep belief that the trend for everything would be upward. I also was taught and still strongly believe today that every person is created equal, and that includes my enemies as well as my friends. [I don’t really have enemies but there are some people that, for whatever reason, I chose not to spend much time with.] We are all in this together. Differing viewpoints never justified or warranted hate or distain for another.
Now
At the same time, I grew up with very little knowledge about just how pissed off so many people in our society were/are.
I’m not saying they shouldn’t be, I’m just saying I wish my education and life experience provided some insight that might have better prepared me for the socio-political climate of today. (This lack of awareness on my part may have been a result of having lived outside of the US for many years.) Believe me, the long-held beliefs and expectations of my youth began to get rocked off their foundation beginning about a decade ago.
I guess my feelings of shock and awe are understandable considering the rapid and significant changes that have taken place in our society. Cultural shifts, including the more mainstream prevalence of social justice movements, increases in political discourse, and changing attitudes toward technology and globalization feel so unfamiliar compared to the norms that defined the first sixty-five years of my life. Caveat: there’s an excellent chance these changes in our society have always been there, but I’ve lacked the insight or “other-focus” to see them.
Along with the changes has come an erosion of my trust in institutions (like the Supreme Court) and the media. The pillars of our society that once seemed reliable are now rightfully under scrutiny. Our sense of shared values is now fractured with fake news and conspiracy theories as well as the disturbing news that many in positions of power to aid others are only looking out for themselves.
What to Do
While I don’t feel confident that I’m keeping ahead of the struggle, here are a few things I’m doing to cope:
~Staying somewhat current – I try to keep informed about politics but not to the point that my anxiety and stress levels soar. I’ve identified trusted news sources and sometimes I’m only able to skim the headlines. It’s been remarkable to see how much of the political news that gets repeated daily is unnecessary and for show.
~Lifelong learning – I make it a point every day to engage in some kind of learning. If I see an idea or concept I’m not familiar with, I check it out. Rather than asking just anyone, I Google it (yes, I know it’s AI) and check out Wikipedia as well as reputable science or fact-based sources. To be honest, most of my learning these days is focused on technology. It’s important to me to use tools like my laptop, iPhone, and smart watch to my advantage, and that takes research and testing myself about myriad applications. Understanding how social media and algorithms work helps me critically assess the information I encounter.
~Intergenerational relationships – I seek out and maintain relationships with younger people. We exchange our perceptions, ideals, and concerns, and in this way, I learn from them often about a different way of seeing things. A fresh perspective is always a good thing. Plus, I have found a greater sense of belonging with these younger people.
~Avoid negative talk and gossip – It’s so easy to be negative. To me, however, there is absolutely no value in approaching life through a pessimistic lens that has us hypervigilant and skeptical about all people and their motives. Additionally, I view gossip as negative and a huge waste of time. I see older adults participating in gossip as a social activity. Instead of making the effort to be positive, we’ve grown to accept negativity and gossip as part of our social structure. These two items — gossip and negativity — however, have no redeeming purpose.
~Therapy – Not for everyone, but it has worked for me. I get an outside take on how best to deal with the social and cultural differences that I never anticipated taking place over the years. If you give it a whirl, you may find that sharing experiences can reduce feelings of isolation and provide practical coping strategies.
Other things to do that I’ve heard about include participating in social causes that are important to you such as volunteering and social activism, and engaging in mindfulness practices including meditation and stress management techniques.
I’m looking for ways to navigate the changes of what I thought these years would look like and what they actually are more confidently while maintaining a sense of purpose and connection. If you have suggestions, please share them.