You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Today’s post is about easing up, about letting go of the shoulds, and the self-recrimination for doing things differently — criticism for doing things your way.
Like little kids, elders are constantly being instructed on ways to take care. We are continually reminded of logical things we’re well aware of. Often it feels like we’re wearing a sign that invites opinions, criticisms, and general input from non-peers just because we’re older.
Do any of the following comments sound familiar?
-“You’re too old to buy/wear that,”
~“Your area rugs are a tripping hazard” (like this is new information to us??)
~”No one does/says/feels that anymore.”
~”You’re embarrassing me.”
~”There are better ways to accomplish your goal.”
~”Here, let me show you my way is better.”
~”You’re acting like an old person.” (Um, I am an old person!)
Plus, our kids or younger friends feel uncomfortable about us admitting that we nap, eat early, use a landline, drink instant coffee, or have a frozen entrée (remember TV dinners?!) because it’s easy and doesn’t taste bad, plus lots more behaviors that work for us.
It feels like somebody always thinks we should be doing things differently, preferably their way instead of the way we feel most comfortable.
The problem with all this input from others is that it’s just that: someone else’s problem since we are just peachy fine with what we’re doing and how we do it and never asked for their input in the first place. While all of the warnings we are reminded of by others are definitely good to pay attention to, today’s post includes a list of reminders that are gentler and kinder.
Consider the following options that, in spite of garnering unwanted attention, comments, and/or criticism, may appeal to you:
~wear Velcro shoes
~take naps
~use a massive font size
~go out early in the day and stay home after lunch
~double space after the end of a sentence. Use proper grammar while texting.
~cry and show sentimentality unabashedly, regardless of the situation
~drive at the speed limit
~make that little grunt or groan if it helps you get up from sitting
~enjoy early dinners and early bedtimes
~check and double check, as needed
~use wired ear pods if they’re comfortable and more convenient
~be deaf to what others are doing around you, tune them out
~keep your landline
~be friendly and chatty with strangers if you feel like it
~pay with cash
~use the library for all sorts of things including books as well as movies and CDs
It’s not fun when others consider it their way of being protective and providing warnings about what and how we do things.
Take it easy. Be you. Forget about what others think. They can just buzz off!
good advice, Antonia.
Also to age gratefully!!
❤️Linda
Thanks, Linda!
You hit the nail on the head, as they say!
Thanks, Max, and thanks for reading!
I’ve proudly embraced nearly all of those wonderful options (paying cash — sometimes just to fluster a cashier who never sees it anymore, keeping the landline even though all we get are robo calls, taking advantage of lunch specials during the week — never gets old, and more). The only one I don’t do is double space at the end of a sentence. It took me forever to get over it, and now it’s second nature :-). A friend once told me that her therapist told her to “stop ‘shoulding’ all over herself.” When I catch myself doing just that, I take a breath and regroup. One other big plus of “aging gratefully!” xoxoxo
There is no one who appreciates a ‘rebel’ more than me, Laurie. Thanks for reading and for being one of the best rebel friends I know.